Thames water has finally identified the source of what is thought to be the source of many of the droughts in Surrey. This body of water (pictured) has been labelled the "Lost Water" – although quite clearly it has now been located. Through some mysterious means, this body of water has escaped from many reservoirs throughout the Southeast and has ended up lounging near old Weybridge Town Lock. Thanks to Thames Water, this body of water has been ring fenced, in preparation for incarceration back to the estuaries where it came from. It is suspected that this water evaporated in the early spring heat wave, then turned into that strange rain that caused delays in the rail network and then seeped into its final loitering point in Weybridge. Once this water is restored to the reservoirs, Thames Water have guaranteed that it will not return to cause a menace to the upper-middle class residents of Weybridge.
(Report filed by our roving corrrespondent Kazemik, "because Steve and Carl can't be bothered").
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