Single white male with a love for butter seeks naked ape (must be wholly naked) for companionship; preparation of light refreshments; assistance with writing PhD on obesity in the ape universe.
The successful primate (pictured) must be clean, wholly or at least fully naked, capable of preparing light refreshments (this may at times involve both canapés AND bucks fizz), and have an intermediate grasp of colloquial Kyrgyz.
I will provide naked ape pit, a limited selection of ingredients for light refreshments, amusing anecdotes about digging for clay, and access to a retro lava lamp.
I am a caring, youthful dementia sufferer with a love for light refreshments (pictured), naked apes and light refreshments.
You will be wholly naked, with strong ape-like features, and good at preparing light refreshments.
If this ad entices you, please don't hesitate to contact me on pantgasm@gmail.com.
Leif Bollevik-Gallileo (pictured)
(Note: This is a public service announcement. We are not responsible for any injuries as a result of being naked, an ape, or good at preparing light refreshments. Please consult the official Naked Ape Guidelines before attempting to prepare light refreshments)
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